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8th June 2006
i feel bad
i got a bad haircut today. it's very short. i was so close to being a long-haired person again. but alas. i am not. it falls right below my ears, soccor mom style and there is nothing i can do about it. i can't pull it back except into tiny little pig tails. i seriously look like a 6-year-old boy and a 69 year-old mom at the same time. i have such pretty hair and it was curling so nicely. i don't know why i did this. i asked my brother to just trim it, cause i had found some split ends, but he gave me like a silly shapeless bob which i was pretty upset about. so today, when i was at izzy i asked her to fix it, like give it some shape and she did. a whole new shape. it's a great haircut, like it seems even and would probably look really cute on someone without a double chin, but i just miss my hair so much. every time i think about it i want to cry. it's pathetic. i know it will be fine. i don't look terrible, but there is no curl, there is little to know way to pull it back and i feel totally exposed with my whole neck showing. i hate it. in a few weeks it'll be ok, but it took me so long to get to the length i was and i am so mad at myself for doing this. ugh. i hope after i wash it and sleep on it i won't feel this way, but something tells me i will hate it for a while. :
anyway, sorry about this idiotic post, but i had to stop talking about it out loud cause i was annoying my roomate but i can't stop thinkning about it.
other than that everything is fine.
27th February 2006
What did I just get myself into?!
so i just got back from teh city. i saw gabey's stand-up show again. he is a genius. dinner with the parents was good. we drank a lot. i am quite gassy right now. sorry to whoever was sitting behind me on the metro north. pay it forward. :
in bigger, less gastro-intestinal related news, i think i may have enrolled myself into that grad program i was whining about in my last post. yeah. i went to meet with this woman (my teacher and the head of the Art of Teaching program) and she gave me all the info. asked me why i wanted to be a teacher. explained what i lacked in requirements, like a certain amount of math and language and shit. and when i asked her how i should proceed, who i give my application to etc. she said, "oh you don't have to formally apply. just show up to grad student orientation next semester." so... i guess i am going to be a grad student a little sooner than i had anticipated.
so if i take a language as my undergraduate class next year (because i don't have the full undergrad courseload i was worried about) and a math over the summer, i should be a master (bater) in no time!
oh god. this very well might totes blow up in my face. pray for me.
23rd February 2006
so i need everyone's advice, especially all my soulmates who are abroad and who i am unable to speak to on the telephone.
i am considering applying for the Art of Teaching Grad program here at Sadie Lou. i am just not sure if i am ready to fully commit myself to anything right now, like a career. how did i get so old so fast?
ok so the reason why i need to decide about this soon is that it starts next semester, so i only have one post grad year of school, however, i do have to take undergrad classes as well as OVERgrad classes (oh my god i am seriously panicing). like i barely do my work while i attend ONE school, how would i ever be able to handle TWO?
now i shall list the pros and cons in order for US ALL to help me decide. that means YOU. yes YOU, livejournal car enthusiast who stumbled upon my page. I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET!
-don't have to take GREs
-get my masters and certification in only two years
-all the benefits of having a masters and certification
-learn a lot about a subject i (think i may) be passionate about
-get to play with little kids all the time
-get to see forte for an extra year
-have to stay at sarah lawrence an etra year without my homies, like even less than i have now
-have double, maybe even triple the workload i can barely handle now
-i may not get in, and THEN what?
-HAVE TO STAY AT SARAH LAWRENCE AN EXTRA YEAR!
well i suppose it wouldn't hurt to apply, right? i'm gonna schedule a meeting about all this with the head of the program (who happens to be my teacher this semester) and i guess i will report back.
in the meantime i can occupy myself by cleaning the shit out of pants which i left there in anticipation for A JOB INTERVIEW i have tomorrow. oh god. i don't want to grow up. i'm a toy'r'us kid.
fuck this. i'm gonna go puke and not do any reading for tomorrow. (i'm just kidding about the puke thing, a bulemia rumor on the internet is the last thing i need right now.)
so fuck y'all. i either do or don't have to go to lampoon now.
16th December 2005
so tonight was jiddy and katie's going away party and i am totes wasto. please pardor the subsequent spelling errors etc. in the following post, i will try my best to catch them, but like seriously i am so drunk. :
so at this ABBA themed party the beverages that were available were box wine, goergi and champagne. and i mostly drank a mix of the three, well not champ and wine, but wine and champ, champ and vodka i drank a shit ton of.
tomorrow i will wake up with a huge gash on my left lovehandle and wonder where it was from. so i am recording this now, so i know what the blood stains on my shirt mean and the pulsing ache in my bottom teeth are:
jarett tackled you 69 times, amy. and you fell each time, once into the electrical socket, hence your gash, and once with jarett's forehead crashing into your mouth, hense your broken orthodonture--(just a joke, but it still hurt pretty bad). don't worry though, you paid him back with a million punches to the groinal area and 69 to the balls.
also, amy, try to remember that the reason why your eyes are so puffy are becaue you and katie cried for about 20 minutes expressing to eachother how much you will miss the other when katie goes to greece. you assured her that she would have a great time and that everything would be ok here with you, but you still sobbed in her arms plenty and watched her smoke the broken cigarette you bummed her.
ok? ok. great night, good hustle. you didn't even puke, amy despite your disgusting alcoholic concoctions.
alright, i guess that is all, livejournal. thank you and good night.
going to miss my homies
1st December 2005
rejection : #2
came from tel aviv yesterday. looks like it's just you and me, bronxville.
30th November 2005
so i did not get into the university of haifa overseas studies program. it sucks. preema told me i had a better chance at haifa than i did in tel aviv. so now i have to just wait it out for tel aviv's rejection. i am pissed. and now you all know and i am going to try and forget about it. sigh.
9th September 2005
the boy i liked told me that i was ugly and fat and smelly and had a bad personality/personal hygiene. well he didn't say that, but that is what i infered from him telling me he's not interested. :
last night at the bar after i bought him a drink (he didn't have any cash on him) and after i fucking flirted my dick off (and i am not a flirter, in fact i am categorically opposed to flirting on principal) he leaned in all close and whispered, "i think i may be leading you on." how romantic, right? to which i cooly replied, "well if you want me to back off, i'll bakc off." and he looked me right in the eye and said, "back off, please." at least he said please, you know? i hate this. i'm just totally embarassed (not so embarassed, however, that i won't share my humiliation with the whole of cyber space...)
so i've been asking myself what i don't have that the other girls he has hooked up with on this campus have is and i've narrowed it down:
1. poor posture
2. lazy eye
3. a dick
5. lack of self-respect
i think i will go back to waiting for something to fall in my lap, thank you. no more flirting for me EVER. it's too humiliating and unbecoming on me. if a dude isn't into my fucking baggy t-shirts and potty humor and nose picking and mood swings then he doesn't get to enjoy my company. i yam what i yam. and it's not easy being me.
23rd July 2005
oh how i hate Live Journal
so i don't really have anything to report. i'm only writing this cause my apartmentmate fell asleep in front of the TV and i don't have the heart to wake her and i also don't have anything to do. man how i love TV. i wonder what is on right now.... :
last night i went to a hilarious concert. it was this boy i used to go to school with like from 4th-9th grade and have been in love with since like 6th anyway it was his band. oh ian. you are sooo pretty and nuts. i'd fucking rock your world. but i will forever be that 13-year-old-brace/pimple-faced-awkward girl in his eyes. or at least that is how i feel around him. he was pretty rediculous in middle school though and i can see past it. sigh. but his band is kinda awesome. and anyone who knows me knows that i don't like ANYTHING when it come to new music, but i like this. ok fine, i like him. and his band is pretty ok. but so i went with my other bff from middle school, jackie. it was so surreal. i haven't seen either of them more than 3 times since we graduated high school. but jackie is a film person so ian asked her to tape his set and i tagged along. so it was at some rock and roll sports bar club owned by scott weilan (from STP, like my namedropping abilities?) and we get there early so they could set up and the band gets free booze so needless to say i got totally shitanked well before they even got on stage. the band is so funny. it is ian on the drums and this british dude on the bass and vox and that is it. it's a funk band. so funny. ian is pretty sick at the drums. the two of them have a pretty rich sound for only having a two-person band. so they play their set and the bar is like totally packed and the crowd was pretty responsive but not as responsive as they were to the hilarious mix of metal and rock that was played after the band was off stage. i have never seen so many 30-year olds dancing on a table at one time. it was intense. it was soooo packed and loud and literally at every booth there were at least three people dancing on the table. like i said, it was a hilarious night. all the woman freaked out for a joan jett song, all the dudes hollered the words to the darkness. it was brilliant. i left at around 2am cause again i was totallly wasted and had about a 45 min ride home ahead of me. so i stummble out of the club to the N train and it takes for fucking ever to arrive and like after about 20 min of me swaying in place and feeling pretty pukey this sorta fattish older dude comes over to me and asks how long i've been waiting for the train. i tell him about 20 min and then he asks me if i was at a party. yes, i tell him my friends band had a concert. and mind you it is like 38million degrees out and i have been in a crowded club dancing for the past like 4 hours and i probably look a totally mess. but this dude was into me, i tell you. he told me i had pretty eyes, he also said he liked my body. it was kinda too much i would have been a lot more freaked out if i hadnt been so fucking drunk. then as the subway finally pulls up he asks me if i smoke weed and i said sometimes. so i get on the train and he comes and sits next to me. and now i'm pretty creeped out. and he's like maybe i could come over to his house and smoke some weed and i'm like, not tonight, man. i'm just trying to get home. and he asks me my name and i tell him sally. i thoguht that was funny. i can't remember him. he continues to talk and i can't remember exactly what he said but i do remember he said something that made me remark that this conversation was too much for a subway ride. finally he got the hint and moved a couple of seats away. i was afraid he was going to follow me out of the subway but he had already told me he was going to the last stop. so then i went home and passed out. all in all it was a good night. i'm pretty proud of getting hit on so hard. i always assumed i was one of those good personality kind of girls, but apparently i am sexually attractive even if only to heavy, west indian men from coney island. i never have been one to receive many cat calls, but this dude made up for all of that. thank you, sir. for placing the cherry on an already hilarious night.
1st April 2005
so this is what i am expected to do? i'm a little down and super bored so i guess the natural progression is to update my LJ? whatever. fine. :
i have been in such a mood lately. it comes and goes but i never know what sparks it and it's such a surprise when such an unpleasantly overwhelming feeling sneeks up on my like this. at first i thought it was boredom. but it seems deeper. anger? not really. impatience? closer i think. i just want to get outa my head a little. i don't even understand most of the shit going on up there half the time. and the other half i am just totally bored by. if only something would happen to take my mind off of myself for a while. maybe i just spend too much time alone? no i'm probably by myself least out of anyone i know. then is that it? spend more time alone? i never have anything to do if i'm not reading or doing homework or some shit. i am so bored and boring.
i'm really going to have to get some attention from the opposite sex in the near future.
i need a new wardrobe for a couple of reasons. i dread having to be seen in a tanktop.
i can't wait for this summer. i usually hate the summer but i'm going to be living with my brother in brooklyn and going to the new school's summer writer's colony. i can't wait. it has the potential to be just what the doctor ordered. oh man gabe's friends are so awesome and he and i have so much fun and i can't wait. oh man. oh man. oh man. i love my fucking brothers. i wanna be just like them and i always have. i don't care if it's not socially acceptable to say that out loud. it's true. they make me feel like a baby cause i still look up to them as if they are still 3 feet taller than me. i havent lived with either of them for about 5 years now. it's gonna be nuts and kinda emotional i think. i can barely have a serious conversation with eli without at least tearing up. it's weird. i think it has to do with my shock that one of the only people in my life seems to have all the answers is communicating with me as an equal. that's probably unhealthy. whatever. i can't help how i feel. my brothers rule and i am such a lamo compared to either of them. eli is some kind of super successful yuppie high achiever etc. and gabe is a super genius whose sketch comedy group is one of the funniest things i've ever seen and he's totally living his dream and doing what he wants and surviving. amazing. i cannot wait to enter into this world. the only thing i am not looking forward to is eli's crazy overprotectivness. like they both have ions of attractive male friends but they are all off limits to their baby sister. i'll have to work around that but i will get mine, oh yes you can rest assured, friends, i will not settle for anything less than tons of boot this summer.
ok wtf. where is this going? i'm going crazy. i'll be fine. i'm going to sleep early so i can get up early tomorrow. see yaz. thanks for listening LJ community. you are my only friends.
15th December 2004
DONE DONE DONE :
ok fine, so i still have a couple of yiddish poems to translate and worksheet to copy from someone but other than that I AM DONE.
ok, now who wants to get stoned with me?
13th December 2004
so close to christmas break
oh man, i want to go home. :
i took some adderol on saturday and i was like all wired but had to go to sleep and i heard somewhere that the anti-dote to adderol was citrus, so i ate an orange at like 5 in the morning. bad fucking idea. iwas up all night so nautious that everytime i moved this horrible wave came over me of like the most uncomfortable feeling ever. so finally at liek 7 am i was like, i need to get this orange out of me so i went to the bathroom and made myself throw up. bad idea again. throwing up orange was one of the most painfull experiences of my life. it stung so bad and burned my throat. plus, i didn't even feel better. so finally by noon i call julia and she takes care of me, with gaterade and a heating pad and all. and i stay in bed for the next two days. that's two days of missed and much needed conference work. so finally today was the first time i am feeling sort of ok, although i am sitting here with the heating pad over my tumtum. ugh. so unpleasant. i never get sick. and i very much do not like feeling like that. and without my mommy. so bad. so sad. so fucking pissed off about work. whatever, i only have one paper, so i can't complain too much.
anyway, hey philly friends, i.e. janna and lils: when are you shit heads coming home?! i'll be home on friday!! yeah! until about jan 17th or 18th something. let me know when you are coming home. i cant wait to see youse!!!!
i wanna go home and not have to write this paper. and i want my poop to stop being green. no, actually it's gone from green to like blackish. so nasty. i want to feel better and go home. home home home. fuck getting credit for class. home. my paper is gonna suck so bad.
haha check out my icon!!
11th December 2004
so i'm sitting here in my room at what, 4:30 in the morning and i'm just reading in bed and i hear this woman screaming. so i'm like, damn! fucking alamo party must have been sweet if someone is fucking screaming in the middle of campus at 4:30, she's got to be drunk. so i go to the window and i see the front end of an ambulance with its flashing lights and everything (the teahaus is blocking my view of the rest of the vehicle). so i'm like wait, that's not drunken cries, that's cries of pain. creepy. so i'm like i wanna see what's up, even if i can't really see anything at all cause of the teahaus and so i'm like i'll wait to see the ambulance pull around the bend and maybe i'll be able to see who's in the back. so i wait and wait, for like 10 min and then the ambulance starts to move and i'm watching and as it passes i see through the side window this girl, i couldn't tell who, lying in the back like clutching her stomach and screaming in pain. plus there was like a parade of cars behind it like a police car and two like patty wagons, maybe. i don't know. it was scarey and weird. if any one knows what happened, let me know. i'm so freaked out now! oy.
29th November 2004
it was so nice being in philly. i had a great time, and i saw the most random mix of people from high school last night. so weird. but really nice. so facebook, huh? pretty sweet. yet another forum for hilarity to insue upon coming across random high school kids. i need to get my scanner working again. i want to post a really cute picture of myself on facebook to show everyone that i haven't gotten too fat yet. whoa there are some fatties from high school! yes! that's the best part. fatties and dropouts. amazing from a distance, thank god i don't have to go to school with them anymore. and thrift store shopping with my former outskirts is always the best part of coming home. unfortunately i couldn't seem to squeeze in any time for my best friend since we were little tiny babies. oops. sorry sarina. that sucked, but we've been bff for so long, what's another 4 weeks, right? i even stopped by rock school which i hate to do cause now it is crawling with really young kids or like super lamos. it's so weird. my high school sanctuary, my haven tainted with weirdos. whatever. paul and dylan are good. and dave and julie and JC has a new hilarious hair cut that is like curly and greasey, amazing. ok now i am like only writing to lils and banaaana, whatever, they are way cooler than whatever creeps read this. JK. oh cybertalk. so expressive. ok back to my yiddish homework. :
need to sleep
22nd November 2004
i was just browsing through the emoticon thingies and the way i made my choice was to view only the horny, high, annoyed and uncomfortable ones for all. i thought that was very telling... anyway even though i am not high right now i'm going to show you the high face my choice makes. it could possibly be one of the funniest things i have seen in a while, besides justin tumbling off of the bench. that was like seriously hilarious.
i sure know how to pick, huh?
20th November 2004
hey i wanna do that thing too
so both danielle and katie have done this now i want to too. so there. ok: :
10: things about me
I am moving to the new dorms tomorrow
I have two older brothers
One of them is gay
The other is a civil engineer
I like puppies, like a lot
I also like babies
I am from Philadelphia
I really like to talk about myself
I still do math on my fingers
My bra size is 34DD
9: places visited
Salt Lake City
8: things to do
pick up trashbags from justin's room
write a paper
appologize to Justin for snapping at him
watch the garrison C boys slip and slide tonight
get drunk/smoke weed without getting stoned
7: ways to my heart
paying lots of attention to me
having obvious insecurities so as to not intimidate me
doing what i tell you
having an attractive penis
telling me i'm pretty
having good taste in music/art/film (or at least not likeing really bad shit)
telling me i'm pretty more
6: things I believe in
that lindsay lohan's boobs are real
that the conference system will pay off in the long run
myself (that's deep, right?!)
the deep end of the pool/ocean/water in general
things that are out of my control
that my boobs will continue to grow
4: favorite things in my room right now
Joey McIntyre poster
my aunt's jewelry box
Jack my pound puppy
the fact that i won't have to live in this shit hole for another day!
3: things done every day
apply my acne medication
2: things i'm trying not to do
eat so much junk
listen to my fucking asshole housemates sing outside my door
1: person you're thinking about
some bitch outside my room singing Chicago. she doesn't even have a good voice.
so i got drunk earlier tonight which was a nice change from the usual smoking without getting stoned. that can get a little depressing. and justin was standing on the bench outside the new dorms and totally tumbled off of it. he also rolled down the hill behind DL and fell on the floor in the coffeehouse. and then nick and katie and nick's step brother and his friend and i hung out in my NEW ROOM which i am moving into on sunday...i just have to pack first...but come visit me in Taylor C5. it'll be totally sweet. starsha being my RA sounds like a dream. it'll be a great time and i am very ready to get away from my shower-door-knocking-role-playing-bad-mu :
sic-listening to/singing really loudly outside my door housemates.
OMG almost forgot the most important part of my night: watching jason, tasha and erin perform. they are so good. so good. crazy. genius. how fortunate i am to have such talented friends.
anyway i'm tired, fuck LJ, it's time for bed.
i gotta poop before bed
17th November 2004
i totally freaked out earlier today. i fucked up royally, for a fucking change! i slept through my impressionism class, as usual (why did i sign up for a class that meets at 9am again?!?)and i felt all shitty about that. and then i realized that i had a paper due in that class that i had convinced myself was due on monday (even though the class only meets on wed.) and i hadn't written yet and i had a bit of a melt down. i cried and called justin all crying and talking fast and crazed and then he convinced me to just sit down and do it. which i did. but it was only like 2 and a half pages long and the assignment was so rediculous. she gave us this tiny little article about fucking some dude who forged all these paintings and then sold them to Japan. great. my paper was so full of shit now my eyes are brown. (that's what my dad always says, except he always says: "you're so full of shit your eyes are brown." which is funny cause it's usally directed at me and my eyes are blue!) i love my dad.
so i'm all stoned and bored and like feeling weird. isn't that all anyone ever says in their livejournal?! i just talked to my friend val who i was like best friends with in middle school and then she moved to california in maybe 10th grade, or 9th. and so i've only seen her a few times in like 5 years, but we're still cool i just found out tonight. she's just so fucking funny and tells the most hilarious stories and i remember that i used to get so sick of her always being goofy and talking about crazy shit all the time, but it's like so crazy entertaining to me now and i miss it and love it so much. and she is so different at the same time as her staying so much the same. she was telling me that she just found out yesterday that she has this crazy slutty reputation at Michigan (where she goes to school) cause like all the boys she's been doing it with like talk shit behind her back and stuff. so she was upset. and then she proceeded to tell me about all these guys, and they are all black and on sports teams or else they live in the D. so that's how the rumors spread, through the sports teams. so they all sound hilarious. and val is has like the craziest body ever. she is like 5'11" and has the biggest boobs i have ever seen. and she's not like skinny. she's like my build only really tall and with humongous boobs. like seriously big. like they look big on her and she is big. she's amazing. plus she is probably the smartest person i know. she used to want to be president of the united states but that was in middle school, now she wants to be a prof. hilarious. if she were a professor, she would be like the female version of Forte, i would imagine. she's incredible. i feel so good that i talked to her. it also made me wish i went to a big state school. like with boys. and black people. that sounds nice. that's why i like going home. there are boys. and balck people. i miss both very much while i am here. ok that is all for now. must watch sex and the city and go to sleep.
14th November 2004
what the fuck am i doing?
is it like super weird to post twice in one day, like even if nothing of import happened today? i'm sorry i'm fucking new at this, i know i must sound like my mother when she talks to me on IM. the other day she actually wrote: "ROLF" it took me a while to decipher it and i had to search my brain for the meaning that was stored way back in my little, hidden, barely used (except when i need a good cry-- or laugh for that matter) "Middle School" folder in my mind. "ROLF" if recall correctly means "Roll on the Floor Laughing." mom, you're the fucking man. Yeah! thanksgiving is so soon. so sweet! is there anyone back home who i could get some ass from? shit, i don't think so. i might have to take a little trip over to Rock School, if you know what i mean...ew. weird. let's write about something else. like how no one on campus, boy or girl is interested in my sweet-ass titties. what's up with that? i mean they are like seriously huge, i'm talking big. like whoa. when did big boobs become a turn-off? oh now i remember, when whoever was looking at them realized the person with the big boobs was picking her nose. that's right. it's all coming back to me know. fucking A. i know there has to be someone out there who finds nosepicking charming, right? what about butt-picking, everyone does it right? a certain someone confessed that she found one of jiddy's hairs in her ass crack. she had to have been apicking to find a jiddy hair in her ass. this fun. what else? my room smells hilarious. i can't tell if it's just the me-smell of my room. i don't really mind it and there isn't enough room in this fucking prison cell for another body to fit, so why worry. i hope i do smell and my fucking asshole apt.mates gag on the stench. bitches. they don't even say hello to me outside the house, not like they ever fucking leave. but still. it's like, i put my naked ass on the same toilet seat as your naked ass, at least give me a little smile when we pass. rude. so rude. their new favorite activity it seems is to wait until my shower is almost over, like 10 minutes into it, just when i am fully relaxed and ready to take on the day and my mind is almost ready to function, they like to knock on the door (which i fucking lock, assholes) to see how much longer i will be. excuse me?! i am naked and hardly awake. wait your fucking turn IN SILENCE and do not disturb my Amy time. it's very precious. ugh. how rude. so the first time this happened someone, i think i know who, knocked and was like "how much longer are you going to be?" and i was like "10 minutes, ugh!" and then i stayed in way longer than i needed to just despite her. and then the next morning i got another knock and heard someone say something but i couldn't really hear her, maybe because i was in the SHOWER, and so i was like "ican't hear you i'll be out in a minute." ugh. so rude. and it's not even like i take very long showers either, never more than a half hour, usually closer to 20 mins, maybe 15. i think i manage my shower time pretty fucking wisely. and it's not my goddamned fault that you did not allot yourself enough time to take a shower and taking into account that there are three other girls who have to do the same thing as you. i mean come on now. leave me the fuck alone. if you're not going to talk to me outside of the shower, DO NOT talk to me while i take one. a little respect please? thank you. that is all.
13th November 2004
ok, so fine, i have a livejournal. as if my not believing in Jesus isn't enough, i think i have successfully written my own admittance letter into hell now that i have signed up for this shit. so here i am. take a good look and don't expect me to spill my soul and talk about my private affairs, this is strictly for the sake of sayin, 'yeah i have one, do you?' and then reading all your fucking secrets. haha suckers. so all you sickos can thank peer pressure for the oppurtunity to read my livejournal. i've been battling it since middle school, and then in high school and deadjournals, and now once again in college. so fuck you. here i am. i'm such a douche.
this is lame